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12 January 2008 @ 09:48 am
Introductions and first weigh in  
Hey all, my name is Nic (short for Nicole).  I'm 29 years old and I turn 30 in September (on the 18th to be precise).  And what I want more than anything this year is to be more fit at 30 than I was at 20.  Time is slipping away from me and I'm just ready to be done with the if only's and the self deprecation.  I am learning to love myself and I'm realizing sometimes that means being hard on myself in a constructive way.  No, I can't eat chili dogs and pizza every night.  If that's what really makes me happy, I wouldn't be here, right? 
So, on to my weigh in

Starting Weight: 230.5 (1/5/08)
Current Weight: 226.0
Weight Lost:          -4.5

It's not the 5 pounds that I had hoped for, but 4.5 pounds in one week is freaking excellent.  One more week on South Beach phase 1, then it's time to start integrating in fruits and grains.  I'm nervous about that.  Right now there's this strict list of what I can have and although it is hard, it keeps me on track.  I can say no to the things I'm offered because I can't have them.  But after next week I start a plan that's more in keeping with how I will need to eat for the rest of my life, and I'm worried about that because it means that I will have to allow myself small amounts of my favorite foods.  I know I don't have to do it immediately, but I always get so out of control.  I'm at a point in my life where I have to fight for every pound lost and I've lost this weight so many times before!  I'm afraid that I will slip up and give up again, and I really don't want to do that.  I'm so tired of being exhausted from walking up a flight of stairs or having to sit down after being on my feet for only a little while.  I'm so tired of walking by stores and seeing cute outfits in the window and not even bothering to go in because they either don't have my size or it's in my size but twice what I would pay if I wasn't obese.

x-posted